I didn’t know it, but I was on the verge of breaking down.
My days were filled with meeting, after meeting, after meeting. Days turned into weeks and then months of non-stop travel. Work life balance? Forget about that blurry line everyone references, work WAS my life. The only thing becoming shorter day after day was my patience and demeanour.
If only I knew then what I know now. I would have looked for answers to slowing down and ending the out-of-control rollercoaster I called life.
And that’s exactly what I want to share with you today.
Throughout my life, like many of you, I was taught to follow the rules and say yes. Yes to my parents, yes to teachers, yes to organizations, yes to my leaders. I quickly became a high achiever. Reveling in accomplishments and recognition. And wouldn’t you know it – nothing fires up a high achiever more than being given more – more responsibilities, more “to dos” and more deliverables!
Sound familiar? How about the effects of saying yes – you know the recognition that follows – promotions, compensation increases, bonuses, praise and career advancement.
Which is all AMAZING!
Until it isn’t.
For me? At the peak of my career, I realized I was beyond exhausted and was no longer happy.
I was short-tempered with my husband and children.
My friend group dwindled.
I couldn’t keep up any longer. I didn’t know it – but I was on the verge of burnout.
The good news is I was only on the verge of burnout – and was able to put an end to it and stay – unbreakable.
How?
I learned to use the one tool we are never taught – one that lies within all of us! A powerful tool for self-care. Also, the secret tool behind some of the world’s most successful people (per Warren Buffett!).
That tool was a single word. “NO.”
Throughout our lives, we are taught to say yes to authority (parents, teachers, managers). And as high achievers, we LOVE saying yes! Saying yes leads to recognition – to praise, promotions and raises. But it can also lead to burnout. Particularly if we fail to set boundaries and be intentional about how we are spending our time between work and life.
Learning to set boundaries and to say no isn’t easy. Afterall, for most of us it’s in our nature to say yes and please those around us.
But consciously deciding what to say YES to, and what to say NO can be life changing. I know first-hand, and it has changed the trajectory of my life. It has impacted my happiness. My relationships. My work. My health.
Saying no? You might be shaking your head and thinking “impossible!”
But before you dismiss this secret weapon, think about all the benefits leaning into saying ‘no’ as a tool can be for setting boundaries and can lead to:
- Increased productivity: Saying no can free up time, allowing you to be more productive and enabling you to focus on your own tasks and avoid workplace distractions.
- Lower work-related stress: Setting boundaries can help to lower work-related stress by helping you manage a reasonable workload.
- Reduce risk of burnout: Saying yes to everything can lead to burnout. Leveraging “no” enables you to more effectively manage stress levels and overwhelm.
- Setting an example for others: 75% of the women in my ACCELLE All Year program reported recently during a webinar of feeling a 7 or higher on an overwhelm scale from 1 (no overwhelm) to 10 (extremely overwhelmed).
I know what you’re thinking –” all these benefits seem great – I mean don’t we all want to achieve work life harmony and become unbreakable?
But actually setting boundaries and putting this into practice is hard work!”
Trust me. It can be done. I’m living proof!
-Kristina